Off The Walt

Amidst trying to take care of my car accident, I learned Tuesday that my father was in intensive care at a local hospital. My week has been very, very physically and emotionally taxing.

My dad had a hernia and a perforation in his stomach… for 4 days before he got to a hospital. His coworkers called an ambulance after his repeated complaints of pain.

My dad’s roommate is a very… interesting person. She’s very controlling and won’t allow me over. I can’t exactly hang out with him all the time where he works, so the time I spend with him is very limited. He doesn’t have a phone, so I can’t call him either… I basically see him on average once a month.

When I got a call from his roommate Tuesday (2 days prior as I write this), I was on the way to taking care of my injuries from the accident and taking care of my business taxes. Apparently, I didn’t have enough going on in my life, eh?

Sunday 4/4, he arrived in the hospital. Things did NOT look good.

Monday 4/5, “he was touch and go all day long.” Normally the ICU nurses have 2-3 patients at a time depending on the needs of each. Dad had a dedicated nurse all day long. This is how bad he was.

Tuesday 4/6 I found out he was in the hospital and went to see him. Know what it’s like to see the man that was cool and the best of the best in your eyes 25 years prior now sedated with tubes sticking out all over his face? A reality check. I spent 2 hours talking to a sedated man until I couldn’t bare it any more. I updated my mom, grandma, his boss, mutual friends out of state and facebook.

Wednesday 4/7 I walk in and am greeted by the nurse’s smile, “Only good news!” she exclaims. He’s stabilizing. His blood pressure is normal. His heartbeat is regular. 40+ years of booze is cleaned out of his system now. He’s still on a ventilator, but I guess 49 years of cigarettes will do that to a guy in his early 60s. I stay 2 hours. My mom, his ex, is expected to drop in later. I update his boss, my mom, grandma and his boss. Boss is a great guy. I’m assured dad has a job waiting for him. Boss is a great guy. Get a call from boss later in the day. Why’s my mom signing papers to pull the plug he asks. I tell him that there’s only one person in the world that has the legal authority to authorize such an action. Me. He’s not married and I’m his only child. He has no living parents or other relatives. I’m all he’s got. Therefore, if such a decision were to be made, it’d end with me… this is not something even close to consideration. I reassure the boss and talk to mom over facebook chat. The nurse was showing mom his charts…. seriously. She just can’t stand others caring about Dad.

Thursday 4/8 I spend an hour with Dad. The new nurse isn’t exactly what I’d call awesome. To her, Dad is just the patient in room 17, not a person. She tells me she’s going to dial back his sedation so I can talk to him. I tell her no, let him rest. She tells me she’s doing it anyway. She converts the bed so he’s sitting up more instead of laying down. She shakes him a bit, pats him on the shoulder quite hard and yells in to his ear, “Bill wake up, your son’s here.” My dad’s name is not Bill. It’s not even close. I don’t like this woman. She goes about running around him and looking busy in front of me. I’m not impressed. 30 minutes later, Dad opens his eyes for the first time in days. I know this man very well. He’s confused. He spots me right away and won’t look away. I smile and start walking over to him. He tracks my steps and turns his head to spot me. He tries to talk but can’t. I guess tubes stuck down your throat can hinder your ability to speak. I tell him that he’s OK. He’s in a hospital and he’s being taken care of. He’s safe and can relax. I’m here. He looks down at his nose as best he can. He tries to lift his hand. I tell him that he’s got tubes in him and he needs to leave them alone so they can help him heal. He looks at me again and closes his eyes. He’s out again. I continue talking to him. Just like I’ve been doing the past 2 days. I have to go do some stuff like talking to my doctor about my accident and getting a rental car while my Scion is getting fixed. This is so emotionally exhausting. I hate being a grownup. I want to have my Mountain Master toy truck and jets and aircraft carrier and park them on his head while they’re trying to refuel. Not watch this great man drift back into unconsciousness. I bid the nurse a good day. I call Dad’s boss, mom, grandma. My friends have nice thing to say on facebook. It makes me happy. I get a call from Dad’s boss. Dad’s roommate called him again. She needs his paycheck cashed. She’s drunk. Boss doesn’t know what to do. Roommate tells him Dad was moved out of the room and taken off ventilator, then returned back to room and reattached to ventilator. I call hospital and speak to my favorite nurse. He’s not moved since I left. I call boss back. Boss is calm now. Boss doesn’t like Dad’s roommate now. Welcome to my world. I need a break and need to heal my own body up. I’m calling tomorrow, saving myself the trip. Will be dreaming of you, Dad, hopefully. Hopefully it’ll be the one where you took me to Miami Metrozoo. That was a great day. You bought me ice cream and a dinosaur wax figure. A great day.

He was stable and seemingly improving the rest of the week. I’m getting happy and hopeful.

Wednesday 4/14 his temperature shot up to 105 and they’re saying he needs emergency surgery, he may not see tomorrow. This has been a bad day.

Fast forward to July…
Dad had a ton of ups and downs in the hospital and was eventually released under his own recognizance. Despite asking me to call him every day, now he’s out and I haven’t heard word one from him. Such is life. I hope he’s well and has learned to stop his bad habits or end up right back in the hospital or worse. Good luck, Dad.

There was a confirmed case of Swine Flu or the H1-N1 Virus at Hallandale Elementary School here in South Florida. For those of you not down here, Hallandale is the city farthest South you can be in and still be in Broward County (Miami-Dade is next).

Fortunately for my family, we live in the farthest North city in Broward County, Pompano Beach, but this still has us concerned. Do we keep the kids out for school until this blows over? Do we lock ourselves in the house and stock up as if there were a hurricane coming?

*sigh* Why can’t people stop shaking hands and sneezing on people? All I want in life is a healthy family with two kids to carry our hope to the next generation. Stop doing things that get in the way of my dreams.

Phoenix has begun playing Star Wars: Force Unleashed on the Wii. He loves swinging the Wiimote around and watching the character on the huge TV respond with a similar motion.

Starting out as Darth Vader really took his breath away. I think he’ll be playing this for some time. Thanks, Lucas!

My wife just did it!

After 6 years together, I’m still learning about her!

I threw something at the trash earlier and missed, I looked at my son because I knew he was going to make fun of me and he said matter of factly, "Daddy, you should have used the force."

I love my son.

I thought this was an amusing anecdote that happened in my household this morning that is exemplry of male/female communication, or lack thereof.

Note that this is NOT a shot at my wife. I utterly adore her and don’t make fun of her, but this example is standard of the type I find between men and women.

Last night we had a power interruption. The power in this area is flaky and it’s to be expected at least once ever two weeks, it’s just the norm. This means all the major electronics are connected to a UPS to ensure their not going boom.

The A/C is not exactly something you can plug into a UPS though. Every time the power goes out, the A/C stops cooling but still blows air. You have to reset the fuses of which there are 4 located in different places of the house. I ran through a reset and it didn’t seem to do anything for the cool, so I reset everything doubly again and told my beautiful wife to let it run through the night in case the coils were frozen (the normal air blows past the coils and gets cool, then comes out your vents) so they could thaw.

Geez that’s a long setup!

So this morning I woke up freezing. I asked My Honey if she turned the A/C back on (even though it was obvious, she likes it when I ask those silly questions) and she said, "Yeah, I worked on it a bit."

I asked, "How did you work on it?"

She replied, "Yeah, I worked on it and pushed some buttons."

I asked, "What exactly did you work on?"

She looked at me matter-of-factly, "I turned it on."

I was slightly confused for a moment, then finished, "…and the buttons?"

I got a scowl and she said in an even tone, "I used the ‘ON’ button!"

Yup. She worked on it a bit. And guys are the ones that get yelled at for not communicating what we’re stupposed to!

When I was in my early teens, someone shoved a copy of Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card in my hands and told me to read it. It may have been my late Uncle Grant. I was quite resistant to it at the time, but eventually I read the first few pages and didn’t put it down until I was done, some 9 or 10 hours later.

Recently, as my son has become such a bookworm, I’ve running out of books to hand him:

• Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne
• Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (an appropriate version)
• The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle
• Invisible Man by H. G. Wells
• Star Surgeon by Alan Nourse

He’s tried Tolkien, but can’t grasp the writing style… funny, that was my hang up so many years ago.

He’s been avidly waiting for me to finish Ender’s Game a second time around and I finally finished it earlier today in the reading room… I found him and handed him the book with a smirk and casual, "It’s your turn."

He made a huge smile and gave me a tight hug, snatched the book and sat on the couch to embark on an adventure. I love my son. I love his sense of adventure.

I’ve missed my son for quite some time. He’s been with his mother for the summer, but he’s returning home this week. It’s too bad he missed his sister’s birthday , but we’ll save some cake for him.

We’re hopefully going to manage a local family vacation when he comes home, but we’ll have to see what we can muster.

6 years ago I didn’t think I’d ever had a daughter. I was happy with my son and wasn’t sure if I wanted any more children. When I met Tiffany , I knew I’d gain a daughter in the process. I wasn’t sure at first if raising another man’s daughter would work out, but on my daughter ‘s sixth birthday, I’m glad I rolled the dice.

My life has only changed for the better and I’m a better dad for both our kids because of it.

Happy birthday, Sweetie.

Most people, especially men, don’t realize what they have until it’s gone. I am very fortunate that I don’t have this shortcoming.

I am further fortunate in that I finally found and married the right girl… I was so sure of this that the first night I met her, I asked her to marry me. I think we’re going on 4 years of living together, 2 of being married.

Tiffany is my center. Without her, my life would be unorganized and unfocused. It’s because of her that I am improving myself and I owe what I am today to her.

I love you, Honey.